I really like Fake Steve Jobs. Who cares that it’s really Daniel Lyons from Forbes .. It’s still a great read.

In his latest smackdown of Wired’s Leander Kahney (who’s latest article is flawed enough to make me end my wired subscription):

“I’m glad you want VOIP on your iPhone and DivX (whatever that is) movies on Apple TV. You know what? I’d like my Mercedes to give me a blowjob while I drive to work in the morning. But it ain’t gonna happen, chump. Sorry. To answer your question in the first sentence, Yes, we do have to control every aspect of your computing experience. Frankly I wish we could control even more than we do, but there are laws about some of these things. You know why we have to control your machines? Simple reason. Because we have to service and support these fucking things, you numbskull.”

Just awesome.